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H’s Self-Isolating Nativity Play

by E_Dagger

Scene 1 - DRUMMER stands in front of the Christmas tree.

 

DRUMMER:  This is the Christmas story! Have you heard? Amazing things are happening in Nazareth. I heard it from my friend, Gabriel.

 

  • GABRIEL flies in -

 

GABRIEL: Greetings! Let me tell you about Mary…

 

  • DRUMMER and GABRIEL spin, arms out -

 

  • SCENE CHANGE -

 

Scene 2 - MARY’s house, MARY is cleaning up, dusting and humming. GABRIEL arrives, behind her and she doesn't notice until he speaks.

 

GABRIEL - Greetings, Virgin Mary!

 

MARY (Looking offended) - Um, rude. Who are you?

 

GABRIEL - I am a messenger from God, here to tell you some amazing news!

 

MARY (sighs and puts down duster) Go on then but make it quick, I have to get this place tidy for my wedding.

 

GABRIEL - You've been chosen by God to be the mother of his son!

 

MARY - WHAT! But I am supposed to be marrying Joseph next week, can’t really see him liking this…

 

GABRIEL - You are chosen and you will both be THE MOST perfect parents for the son of God! God told me himself.

 

MARY - Weird flex but ok…

 

GABRIEL - I will appear to Joseph and tell him the news….

 

(GABRIEL flounces out)

 

  • SCENE CHANGE -

 

Scene 3 - Joseph’s House, JOSEPH sleeping. GABRIEL appears

 

GABRIEL - Joseph! I know you’ve been worried about Mary, she's been acting kinda shady, talkin bout a baby, why the sudden cha-a-ange? Right?

 

JOSEPH - (sits up, rubbing eyes looking annoyed) Um, who are you and why are you in my bedroom butchering Destiny's Child lyrics?

 

GABRIEL - I am a messenger from God, here to tell you that Mary has been chosen to be the mother of the Son of God!

 

JOSEPH (Jim from the office look to camera, gulps) Oh… GULP

 

  • SCENE CHANGE -

 

Scene 4 - DRUMMER stands in front of the Christmas tree again

 

DRUMMER - Mary and Joseph trusted the angel, and soon Mary's tummy was HUMUNGUS! They had to travel away from Nazareth… (holds up Reindeer stick) would you believe this is a donkey? Please try, we have budget issues.

 

  • SCENE CHANGE -

 

Scene 5 - JOSEPH and MARY plodding along, MARY on reindeer stick.

 

MARY (Mouths to camera) Its a donkey, ok?

 

JOSEPH - Nearly there, duck!

 

MARY (Gives him a withering look) You could’ve at least called an Uber. Don’t even speak to me.

 

JOSEPH - Yes dear. (Hangs head)

 

  • SCENE CHANGE -
  • SIGN “LATER, IN BETHLEHEM”

 

Scene 6 - MARY and JOSEPH walking along corridor knocking on many doors, DRUMMER off camera says:

 

DRUMMER: Mary and Joseph tried every inn, hotel and Air B&B they could but had no luck until one man let them have his stable for the night.

 

  • SCENE CHANGE -

 

Scene 7 - Stable - MARY sat on floor surrounded by black horse, Zebby, H’s teddies, some hay on the ground. Maybe the dog ?

 

JOSEPH (pacing nervously) - Can I get you anything dear?

 

MARY - Ooh (reaches for his hand) I wouldn't say no to some pickled onions and custard?

 

JOSEPH (gags and looks horrified) Sure, I'll be right back! (walks off)

 

  • SCENE CHANGE -

 

Scene 8 - DRUMMER by Christmas Tree:

 

DRUMMER - Meanwhile…

 

  • SCENE CHANGE -

 

Scene 9 - THREE KINGS, sat at dining table, all Kingly, crowns on.

 

HOLY VOICE (off camera) I AM THE ANGEL OF THE LORD!

 

THREE KINGS - (All gasp and look around)

 

HOLY VOICE - FOLLOW THE STAR TO BETHLEHEM!

 

THREE KINGS - (All get up quickly and go)

 

  • SCENE CHANGE -

 

Scene 10 - SHEPHERDS, hanging around in garden, chatting.

 

HOLY VOICE (off camera, shines light on SHEPHERDS who look up) I AM THE ANGEL OF THE LORD!

 

SHEPHERDS - (All gasp and look up, point at sky)

 

HOLY VOICE - FOLLOW THE STAR TO BETHLEHEM!

 

SHEPHERDS - (All grab at each other in shock and go)

 

  • SCENE CHANGE -

 

Scene 11 - Stable again. Mary has given birth to a baby boy, MARY and JOSEPH are cooing over it

 

DRUMMER (walks into stable) Mary has had a baby boy and named him Jesus.

 

  • DRUMMER walks over to peep at baby

 

DRUMMER - Aww hes cute!

 

  • DRUMMER walks to Christmas Tree

 

DRUMMER - Jesus had lots of visitors, the 3 kings brought him gifts of Gold, Frankincense and Mhyrr and the Shepherds? Well, the Shepherds were just happy to be there and get a bit of time off work to be honest.

 

  • ALL stand and walk to Christmas Tree, MARY holding Jesus

 

ALL (together) And that is the story of Jesus’ birth! Merry Christmas everyone!